Hey everyone, I know it's been forever since I've posted on here, but I've been really busy with lots of stuff, so I've been pretty stressed out.  I just had alot of stuff on my mind today & needed a way to let it all out, so I figured I'd just post it here since The people I would usually talk to aren't available.  I'm sorry for the depressing nature of this post, but I just needed a way to let everything out.

I went to a funeral today for a girl I have known most of my life.  This girl was 16 years old, seemed to be perfectly healthy, & then Thursday she just suddenly dropped dead in her yard.  I don't even claim to have been best friends with Sarah, but this is still really hitting me, just how precious & unpredictable life is.  This is a girl I have gotten used to seeing every time I go to church, as well as any time there are people hanging out at my house.  This is the girl who would walk into the room & we would start joking with each other, and then making fun of each other.  Now suddenly, she's gone.

I don't really even know where I'm trying to go with all of this.  I just had to get this all out of my system, since everyone else I know is hurting just as much & probably more than me. 

The one thing that really hit me today at the funeral today was just how many people showed up.  Sarah was only 16, but there were easily 700 people at the funeral today.  It was awesome seeing everyone, & realizing that in some small way, she had made an impact on each & every person there.  It made me start thinking about my own life.  I started thinking, if I were to suddenly die, how many people would be at my funeral?  Even more depressing, how many people would decide that something else was more important than coming to my funaral?  As I pondered this, I started thinking about my friends, and asked myself, who would speak at my funeral, & what would be said?  What would other people, who thought they knew me, have to say if they spoke? 

I know this has been really depressing, & totally out of character for me, but I thought it was appropriate.  Don't start thinking that I'm asking all of these questions because I'm really depressed or anything.  I promise I'm not thinking of doing anything drastic.  This has all just been on my mind, & I wanted to let it out. 

If anyone has anything to add, I'd love to get some comments, but if not, I at least hope you took the time to read my entire post.

Until next time,

Here's to Sarah Elizibeth Paul  1989 - 2005